Development in Couples
The developmental process associated with becoming adults, couples, and parents was the main focus of this week. Please read the vignette and address the questions that follow.
Therapy with Andre and Marina
Andre is a 32 year-old man who is dating Marina, a 23 year-old woman. After a few failed attempts at college just after high school, Andre primarily worked in the restaurant business to make ends meet. He has lived mostly on his own during his 20s but at times moved in with his sister and her family. Those times also saw bouts of depression and a particularly conflictual relationship with his mother. Now, Andre, living on his own, is one semester removed from completing his bachelor’s degree with a 4.0. He has a pending job offer and, although his father calls him a ‘”late bloomer,” just like he was at that age, has really hit his stride.
Marina recently graduated from college a few months into their relationship and moved to a city about two hours away. She lives there with her father, a former military officer, who works in the city and commutes weekly back to their small town. They have been making it work as a long-distance relationship for about six months. So much so that they talked about getting married in the not too distant future. Recently there have been some challenges that are leading them to consider breaking up. First, the arguments centered on how busy Andre was with work and school. Marina began wondering out loud whether or not she was interesting enough because of her age and feared Andre might leave her for a woman closer to his age. Then, Andre was offered a job in his current town and is looking forward to finally having a “real job” as a college graduate. Marina has always dreamed of living in a thriving big city and was hoping Andre would join her after graduation, as they often also talked about.
For this discussion, imagine that Andre and Marina have come to you for therapy and address the following:
What are key factors that are likely influencing both Andre and Marina as you consider the developmental phase of “Becoming an Adult” as discussed in Chapter 13?
Based on your reading of Chapter 14, “Becoming a Couple,” describe important areas for a Marriage and Family Therapist to explore with this couple.
Using the “Key Dimensions of Couple Relationships” as a guide, list three relational questions that may be helpful to ask this couple as a Marriage and Family Therapist.
(chapter 13 for this portion)
2) THERAPY WITH VIOLENT COUPLES
Scenario
The police have been called to the Olson household on three occasions for domestic violence. The couple has been ordered by the court to attend couples therapy. During a session with you as the therapist, one partner reported that there is concern the violence will get worse and negatively impact their children.
In your post, address the following:
Part 1
Based on the readings, describe three strategies or techniques you would utilize to work with this couple.
Discuss your understanding of a therapist’s legal and ethical obligations to this couple regarding mandated reporting and confidentiality, according to your state’s requirements, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy AAMFT) code of ethics:
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. (n.d.). Code of ethics. AAMFT.
Part 2
Imagine the couple in the following contexts:
The couple is heterosexual; the perpetrator of the violence is male.
This is a lesbian couple.
The couple is heterosexual; the perpetrator of the violence is female.
Finally, imagine each scenario, but there are no children living in the home.
Reflect on and write about the assumptions you may have made about this couple in terms of contextual and cultural factors, such as gender and sexual orientation, when you initially read the scenario. How do the changes in the various scenarios impact your thoughts, feelings, and overall reaction to this case?
