Case: Tom and Linda Smith have come to therapy for help with their marriage, their 9 year old daughter Mary, and their 13 year old son Robert. Mary’s parents report that she refuses to do her school work or attend school. She would rather stay home and play. Her parents report that Mary throws tantrums and yells at them whenever she is asked to do something she does not want to do. Mary’s parents are frustrated and have given up trying to give consequences to Mary for not obeying them. Mary will yell at her parents and throw tantrums until they stop making demands. They are feeling powerless and are trying to give Mary what she wants. They report that her behaviors are getting worse. Mary states that her parents don’t let her do anything and like her brother more than they like her.
Robert is their 13 year old son. His parents report that he gets frustrated easily when he is not making perfect grades at school and will isolate himself from others several hours. He refuses to talk to anyone about his frustration. His parents also report that he responds the same way whenever he does not live up to his own expectations. They feel that “he should be successful with anything he puts his mind to.” Robert states that he feels like no one in his family understands or cares about what is going on in his life. He states that his parents spend all of their time worrying about Mary, and Mary only cares about herself.
Tom and Linda would like help with their marriage of 16 years. Both agree that they do not feel close to each other and rarely talk about anything other than work and the kids. Tom describes the problem stating that while he likes his mother-in-law, he feels he is not as important to the family as she is. Linda reports that she contacts her mother daily for advice regarding the problems with their children. Linda states that her mother has always helped her with important decisions and she can’t imagine doing anything without her input. She describes the problem reporting that Tom does not like to disagree or have conflict with her, he appears afraid to talk to her, and will avoid difficult discussions where there might be disagreement. Tom states that he was the youngest of five children. He does not have contact with his parents because they made him feel “invisible” and “unimportant”.
Answer two questions through the lens of a particular systems model of MRI Brief Therapy.
1) Why do people have problems?
2) How can they change?
